Let's say a guy (we'll call him Alex) goes on a business trip to a far away place and he misses his wife (let's call her Jenny). Alex emails Jenny a photo of himself waving to her from his hotel. Jenny responds with, "Great picture honey, but there's no substitute for the real thing, is there?""No substitute for the real thing." Is there?
What is it that lets someone form an emotional connection with someone /something else? Relatedly, in this case, what affects loneliness?
Physical proximity
So, Realdolls. You know what they are. And they are practically identical to the people they're modeled after. But with those, I bet money that their owners still feel lonely sometimes.
So is it the physical proximity of a real person (one who we know or feel a degree of closeness to) that influences loneliness (or lack thereof)?
Emotional proximity
Let's say Alex had not been physically near anybody he knew in a few weeks, yet he has not felt lonely when emailing with people from home who he knows (including Jenny). It's not physical proximity that lowers his loneliness in this case, but rather emotional proximity.
People vs. animals ; reciprocity
The hole with "physical or emotional proximity of a person" : it doesn't necessarily have to be a human-influenced thing. People form emotional attachments and bonds with their pets and sometimes don't feel lonely when they're around.
But some pets don't reciprocate attention or affection. Emotional bonds aren't as strong with fish as they can be with dogs, for example (I know there can be exceptions to this, but I'm writing in general terms here). So it is an issue of reciprocity, isn't it?
Cognitive processes
Surely reciprocity doesn't necessarily have to be present, as anybody who had a high school crush on the popular kid will know. What is it that people or animals possess that can cure loneliness or help an emotional bond form? Is it simply the presence of a certain level of cognitive processes; knowing that the possibility of reciprocity is always there?
Artificial intelligence
A.I. will get to the point where robots will engage in "advanced reciprocation" and be able to have complex conversations with people (maybe they already do in Japan). Yet, I just don't see substantial emotional bonds being formed with robots.
(Although it happened in that Spielberg movie.)
Maybe "cognitive processes" is too broad even still, since they will one day be mimicked very well. Is it about the neurological constructs that lead to that non-replicable thing that makes us human or animal? What is that thing?
I'm sure this has already been solved. I would love to hear everyone's opinion on this, get any leads to articles that talk about it, etc.
Photo credit: here.
I think that "non-replicable thing" you speak about is called the "soul". It's debatable what has a soul and what doesn't, but it's ultimately a subjective determination. For example, if I have an emotional attachment to my pet fish, the fish has a soul (but to me only). You might not think the fish has a soul, because you have no attachment to it. Does that make sense?!
ReplyDeleteFor soul I'd like to use "interiority".
ReplyDeleteThe curse, burden, defining feature of humanity is that fact that we are self aware - we have an interiority - but we are trapped within it - we cannot access any other interiority.
So - we developed communication and the ability to model other people's interiority - social sense - which is very complex indeed, as it's a multivariate recursive problem:
I need to understand how you will react to what I say, and how I will react to that and so on, and then how everyone else will feel.
Love, seems to me, to be the simulation of interiorty access - a combination of aligned values and desires coupled with the familiarity that enables modeling verging on emulation - I know how she will react to that - which means we can feel connected to something outside of our own heads.
And loneliness is when you feel entirely disconnected from any other interiority - when every human interaction glances off the surface - when your factual atomisation becomes psychologically prevalent.
You can be alone in a room full of friends, or close to people far away, if there is some sense of interior transfer.
Or, to put it another way, to love someone is to keep them inside your head. And to be alone is to have no one else in yours.
makes me think of the below lyrics from the Modest Mouse song "Baby Blue Sedan":
ReplyDeleteAnd it's hard to be a human being
And it's harder as anything else
And I'm lonesome when you're around
And I'm never lonesome when I'm by myself
And I miss you when you're around